Surviving Sorrow
by CecileBlue
Summary: Ivy Allen has always leaned on her twin sister Olivia. But when Olivia dies in a hit and run Ivy drowns herself in sorrow and after a failed suicide attempt, she's put in a psych ward on twenty-four hour suicide watch for three months. When she gets out her parents decided a change of scenery would do the whole family good and they move to Forks, Washington. Imprint Story.
1. Prolog

_Prologue_

My head was pounding and I felt like I was going to be sick. But I didn't move. I didn't move from my spot next to my sister's coffin. She was lying there, her blonde hair loose around her head, looking like Sleeping Beauty. But she wasn't sleeping. And a kiss would not wake her up.

Nothing would.

It was strange to think that four days ago she was alive. Alive and laughing, talking to me on the phone. But then...but then it happened. We were talking. Everything was fine. And then I heard a crash and suddenly we weren't talking anymore. I yelled into the phone for five minutes before someone picked it up and told me had happened.

She was crossing the street. And then someone ran a red light and hit her. They kept driving. They left her there in the middle of the road like she was garbage. They didn't even care enough to stop and see if she was alright. And now she's dead. Now I'd have to look in the mirror every day and see _her _face. The face of my identical twin. My other half.

I couldn't do it.

I wouldn't do it.

I waited until the service was over. Until everyone had gone back home to their warm houses to talk about what a terrible time this was. Until my mom passed out on the couch and my dad was to drunk to walk straight.

I filled the bathtub up with water and poured my mom's sleeping pills out on the counter. I heard drowning was a nice way to go. Peaceful. I was going to see my sister again. And if I didn't... if there was no heaven or hell... then at least I wouldn't have to live in a world without her.

_I'll see you soon, Olivia. _

**Welcome to my new story, Surviving Sorrow. It may get a little heavy, so you have been warned. Review/Follow/Favorite. 1 review and I'll update. **

**~Cecile**


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

We pulled into the driveway of a big white house. To big for just the three of us. I had been let out of the psych ward hours earlier and the second we were in the car my mom announced that we would be moving to Washington. Forks to be exact. Aka the rainiest place in the world. Which I thought was pretty depressing.

But whatever. A change of scenery was just what the doctor ordered, although it wasn't going to prevent me from doing what I had been planning on doing ever since I woke up in the hospital.

Trying again.

I know how selfish I was being. My parents had already lost one daughter...they needed me. But I needed Olivia. And as horrible as I felt-leaving them all alone- it hadn't made me stop. Nothing was going to make me stop. I had a plan.

Ever since Dr. Evans handed me back my shoelaces and let me loose my parents have been watching me like hawks. Waiting for any indication that I hadn't gotten better from my four month stay at the Mortham Institute for the Unwell. Which only meant I was going to have to wait until they stopped hovering. And when they did, that's when I'd do it.

I liked drowning. Well, I can't really say that I liked it seeing as how I don't remember much, but it wasn't horrible. I downed a ton of sleeping pills and stepped into the tub. I was out like a light, and for a moment I thought I was free. I figured I might try to do that again. Or maybe I could slit my wrists. Or hang myself. They're are a million options to choose from. I've just got to remember to lock the door.

But I won't focus on that right now. Until the day comes, I'll try not to think to much about it. Instead I'll focus on my parents. Being the sweet little angel I was before Olivia died. Focus on my schoolwork...be happy. Well, fake being happy. Which was relatively easy.

I swung my purple bag over my shoulder and hopped out of the car, "It's beautiful," I murmured as my parents joined me.

"Isn't it?" My mom wasn't even looking at the house- she was looking at me. Waiting for a reaction of any kind. She wasn't going to get it.

"I'm glad we moved here. I think it might be...nice." Once again, she scanned my face. When she was satisfied that I was okay, she smiled and took my bag.

"You're going to love it here. I just know you will. We came by a week before we picked you up and this nice lady down the street said she had a son your age. She said she'd send him and some of his friends down here to help unpack and bring in furniture. Isn't that nice? Maybe you can make some friends...maybe even..."

I smiled, "Yeah mom. Maybe." Not. I couldn't even manage a boyfriend when Olivia was alive, like I could do it without her. We may be identical, but Liv was always the one to get the guys. She just had this...charm. Something about her that made people instantly adore her. Which was perfect, considering she was an actress. We both were.

Were. Past tense. Gone now. Everything's gone.

My mom brought my bag inside and offered to take me out to lunch, eyeing my bony form. I used to be a nice and healthy weight. But ever since Olivia...I can't keep anything down. After months of half starving and sleepless nights, I looked like a zombie. And my dear mother couldn't help but take notice.

I accepted her offer, flashing her the signature Allen Twin smile. Allen smile. No more twin.

We went to an adorable little diner down town. Emily's was written in huge swirly letters across the top and inside it was like a little haven. It looked more like one of those coffee/cafe places you see in movies than a diner. Couches, chairs and a roaring fire made it seem homey and warm. Olivia would have fallen in love instantly.

My mom ordered the wrong thing. She didn't mean to, and the second she realized her mistake her eyes instantly zeros in on me. Instead of ordering a cheeseburger with extra ketchup, she ordered chicken strips. Chicken strips. All Olivia ever ate at diners or restaurants or anywhere with food that wasn't our kitchen.

I wanted to scream. But I didn't. I gave her a small smile and canceled the order, telling the girl at the front that I'd actually like a cheeseburger. The girl, whose name tag read Kim, looked at me funny for a second before nodding and placing my order. My mom and I found a small table in the back and she immediately tried to make small talk.

"The weathers nice. I hear it doesn't get like this very often. Maybe you could go down to beach...since it's so nice...?" she suggested hesitantly.

I smiled, "That sounds like a good idea. I'll think about it. So, when are our private movers getting here?"

Mom rolled her eyes, "In about an hour. I hear the La Push boys are very handsome."

La Push? Olivia would've laughed her head off...stop it, Ivy. Liv's not here. Don't think about her or mom will know.

"Cool. Maybe I will get a boyfriend."

Olivia would have poked me with her straw and say, "Of course you'll get a boyfriend, Ive. You're gorgeous."

And I would've said, "You're only saying that 'cause we look the same."

And she would've said, "That may or may not be true."

And we would have laughed. No laughing now. No real laughing ever again. Not without Olivia. Nothing without Olivia...

Mom didn't say anything. She just smiled and nodded. Our food came and went and soon enough we were on our way home. We were almost there when I noticed a pack of boys pulling furniture out of the moving van.

Oh, Olivia. You would've liked this.

**CHAPTER ONE! I hope you guys like it. Ivy is a little messed up right now, so her mind is kind of all over the place. It'll get better. Cross my heart. SO WHO DO YOU THINK SHE'LL WIND UP WITH? Hint hint: it's not a guy who already has an imprint. So no Sam, Jacob, Quil, Jared or Paul. Who do you want her to end up with?**

**Favorite/Review/Follow. 3 reviews and I'll update**

**Peace**

**Cecile**

**P.S. THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS YOU GUYS!**


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Unless they were fictional, I was terrible around boys. And these boys were definitely not fictional. I needed Olivia. I _needed _her. But she wasn't here. So I'm just going to have to do without my night in shining heels.

My mom pulled into the driveway and I hopped out of the car. I wanted to go inside, but mom was probably going to want me to talk to them.

"Why don't you go talk to them?" Bingo.

"Good idea." Bad idea. But mom was grinning, and the sooner she laid off me the sooner I could go away. I clutched my coat closer to my body and made my over to the closest boy.

He was tall. Like, tall tall. At least 6'7" or taller. And handsome. Shaggy black hair paired with big, chocolate brown eyes. When he saw me he smiled.

"You must be Ivy. I'm Embry," he stuck out his hand I quickly shook it. I was pretty sure he had a fever or something.

"Nice to meet you." I don't like it much when people smile. We shouldn't do it. Not when my sister is rotting in the ground. I can't understand how the world is going on without her. Like she was never even here.

Embry smiles to much.

"How do you like Forks?"

"I don't know yet." When I get back inside I'm going to make a list.

"Well, it's pretty great. I'm sure you're going to love it." And pick out the best way to die. I'm still betting on the bathtub, though.

"I hope so. Maybe you can show me around." Now why did I say that? I didn't want to make friends. That's just more people to leave behind. But I guess it will help my parents back off...

"Maybe. Why don't I introduce you to the guys?" Great. More people.

"Alright."

'The guys' all looked like they were related to Embry. Extremely tall, extremely buff and extremely handsome. Olivia's type. Not mine. But they were all nice. Very smiley. Happy. So very, very happy. They acted like brothers.

It's not fair.

"There you are!" Embry yelled, suddenly, looking at a boy coming up the street, "Your mom was the one who got us to come down here and you show up late?"

The boy shrugged and ran up to Embry, grinning, "Sorry. I was busy."

"With what?"

"Addie."

Embry rolled his eyes, "Why am I not surprised? You haven't even impr- never mind. This is Ivy Allen."

The boy smiled and turned to shake my hand. But when he saw me he froze and his hand dropped to his side. And he just...looked at me. With the look that Olivia's boys used to give her except a little different.

Embry burst out laughing, "Thank god. Now we can get rid of Addie."

They other boys eyed him and then me before laughing as well. One of them pulled his phone out of his pocket and started texting someone. The boy, on the other hand, wasn't laughing. He was still just staring. And it was getting a little weird. He looked like he was trying to say something, but just couldn't get the words out. I was wondering what he expected me to do. And what he was looking at.

Olivia would know what to do.

**Sorry about this short chapter...it's pretty much just a filler chapter. Which is why it isn't that great...Anywho I hope you guys like it anyway. ALSO the imprinter will be revealed in Chapter 3. Who do you guys think it is? **

** I'm also kind of thinking of throwing in a vampire. It might be a Cullen vampire or a Volturi vampire. I don't know yet. But it would definitely be someone you guys know. Of course, I don't want it ending up to much like Twilight. Which it probably wouldn't, but still. I have this scene planned out (if I do add the vampire) with Ivy, her wolf, and her vampire where she finds out what they are and...yeah. I like it. **

**But do you guys?**

** Review/Favorite/Follow. Three reviews and I'll update (it'll be 2,000 words or more this time)**

**Peace**

**Cecile**


	4. Chapter 3

I decide to leave. Talking to Embry drained me and I just want to go to sleep. I turn, without bothering to say hello, and walk up the stairs. I know how rude it was, and that my mom could take it as some sort of sign, but I didn't real care. I just wanted to go to sleep. Not mention how weird that boy made me feel.

And the way he looked at me...

I shook my head. Don't worry about it. He's gone now. Gone, gone, gone. You can go to sleep. I walked up the stairs silently making my towards my room. I left the door open-I'm not aloud to close it- and flopped down on my bed. But then I heard something that made me get up.

"What'd I do?"

I carefully walked over to my window and peeked through my curtain, seeing the boys gathered in a sort of circle. I also noticed that my window was propped open a bit, letting in the sound.

Eavesdropping is wrong. You never hear what you want to hear. But it's not like you can just not do it when the opportunity comes your way. Well, I couldn't.

I pulled up a chair and leaned my head against the window, listening to their deep, husky voices. I could tell they were trying not to be loud and failing miserably.

"You didn't do anything, Seth," Embry told him, patting him on the back. _Seth. _What a nice name.

"Yeah, Seth, I think something's wrong with her," another boy, whose name I couldn't remember, said, leaning against the moving truck.

Seth's head snapped up and I swear I heard him growl, "Nothing is wrong with her. She's perfect." Woah. That's...nice? And weird. I never said a word to the guy and here is growling and calling me perfect.

"I didn't mean it that way, honest, I just...you guy's smelt it right? Some sort of medicine. And...I got a feeling...I don't know...sadness?"

I think my jaw may have dropped just then. He _smelt _my antipsychotics? You can't smell those things! And...and sadness?

I saw Embry look down at his feet, "Yeah...uh...I think I heard something about her sister dying or something. So no wonder she's sad...I think her name was Oli-"

I practically slammed the window closed. No, no, no, no! I don't want to hear them talking about her. As if they know her! As if they know anything! I pushed the chair away and jumped on my bed.

I just want to sleep.

When I woke up the boys were gone and it was dark out. Someone- my mom I was guessing- had tucked my under my covers. Damn it. Excessive sleep. A sign of depression. Any signs at all and she'd never lay off. I had to go downstairs and pull some sort of I wasn't feeling good crap.

But I didn't want to get out of bed. It was so warm. So soft. So safe. Nothing could touch me here.

"_Scooch over Sleeping Beauty," I rolled over groaning and Olivia jumped under the covers. Stupid morning people. _

"_Go away. I'm dying."_

_I could practically feel her rolling her eyes, "You are not. You know, I bet you would jumping off the walls if you hadn't gone to bed at two in the morning."_

"_I did not go to bed at two in the morning."_

"_You did to! I heard you turning on your annoying noise machines. C'mon Ives, get your lazy butt out of bed," she put a hand on my arm and then pulled away, "God! You're burning up!"_

_I groaned again and turned to face her, "I think I'm going to puke."_

_She was gone and back in a second, returning with the little trashcan from the bathroom. I leaned over the bed and vomited while she stroked my hair. "You're okay, Ives, you're just fine."_

"_Don't leave me," I whispered._

"_Would I ever?"_

I blinked back the memory. I had had a fever for a week and Olivia had stayed with me throughout all of it, even missing her big math test she had been preparing for for a month. Mom and dad tried to make her got but...she practically tied herself to my bed.

She wasn't supposed to ever leave me.

I ignored the tears and got out of bed. After quickly brushing my teeth I ran downstairs, said hi to my parents and started making a sandwich.

They both watched me, silently, as if waiting for something. I sat across from them at the table and bit into my turkey sandwich, watching them just as intently as they were watching me. "Alright. What's the problem?" I sighed.

They shared a look and silently decided that my mom should speak first. "Well, sweetie, we noticed how early you went to bed. And it was right after you talked to those boys, and I heard them talking about Olivia and I know that might have upset you, but-"

I rolled my eyes, "Relax mom. I went to sleep because I was tired. I'm better now, you know I am. The doctors said I made a full recovery and they were right. I...I know what I did was horrible. And I won't ever do it again. I miss Olivia and I love her, but I won't kill myself because of it. It's not what she would have wanted." I hoped they would believe the crap that just came flying out of my mouth.

Mom started to smile and slowly, so did dad. "I know, honey, I know you're better. We just get so worried sometimes..."

I nodded, "I get it. It's fine, really."

Dad decided to speak up, "You know, one of those boys left his number here for you."

Mom nodded, "He did! That Seth Clearwater boy! You should call him. Or text him. Or whatever you kids do. I think it would be a really nice idea." She stood up and pulled a sticky pad off of the refrigerator. She handed it to me and I glanced down at the number written neatly across it in my mother's handwriting.

"Here you go! Why don't you call him?"

I froze, "You mean...right now?"

She nodded happily, "Yeah!"

I was planning on throwing away the number when I got up to my room,but now...

"Yeah. Great idea. Okay."

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed the number, praying for it to hit voicemail.

"Hello?"Damn it.

"Hi...um Seth Clearwater right? It's Ivy. Ivy Allen."

**More then last time but not two thousand words. AND I DID IT ON PURPOSE. Cause not a lot of reviews and such so I don't really know what you guys think and then I get writers block and what not. I did see a really good idea in here though...someone suggested that a part of Olivia could still be living on in Ivy and another wolf imprints on her, but he's really sort of just imprinting on Olivia. My mind exploded with that and now I've got a million ideas springing around in my head. So thanks **A.K. Hawthorne

**Also, on a sight called Wattpad my friend CrazyCatGirl88 is looking for a co-writer and is having a contest to do it. If you are interested then just put**** CrazyCatGirl88 into the search bar on Wattpad and the contest is the first thing that pops up**


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